Inconceivable

First it was dirty mosquitoes and now it is filthy swine. We gave up on our Nicaragua vacation because of the whole malaria issue and decided on Mexico figuring we would try our luck with the drug lords. All my research indicated that Playa del Carmen meets our standards - cheap, beachy, serviced by American Airlines and wouldn't interrupt our desperate attempts to conceive. Besides the drug lords seemed to be far, far away from the Yucatan area. We bought our flight tickets and made a deposit on a condominium. Then the squealing started. Today the CDC issued an advisory against any nonessential travel to Mexico because of an outbreak of swine flu. Swine flu. Well this vacation has become essential travel for me, so can I still go? We flew to London right after the plot was unraveled to blow-up London-bound planes using liquid, so hopefully this will prove to be less of a threat than it seems. I really don't want to spend the first week of June on a Coney Island bound F train.

After a heart wrenching discussion last night, Matt and I decided that if this cycle doesn't take, we are going to go the route of Angelina: we will adopt a few children, and then Brad Pitt will father the rest.

I came on my dr's pants today. Well my husband did, but he wasn't actually there when it happened, so it was a group effort. I was being IUI'ed, and when he pulled out the catheter, the nurse, trying to be discreet, whispered something to him. He didn't hear and asked her to repeat it, and she quietly said, "it got on your pants." I heard and they knew I heard, so the dr laughed and I started to laugh (resisting the urge to apologize, b/c this was clearly not my fault). He made some comment about this is why he doesn't buy new clothes. Ok so funny story right? I get back to work and at lunch tell this to my coworkers. I thankfully have a very special group of wonderfully supportive colleagues who I can share these types of things with. We are cracking-up over this and my sweet (and innocent) little officemate says: "eewww, you gave him a dirty mexican!!!." My boss and I start howling. My other coworker has no idea what she is talking about or why...

Matt and I decided we needed a vacation for many reasons. We settled on Nicaragua because it was quiet, lush and somewhat recession chic. I went to my dr.'s yesterday, and the list of things I can't do has now grown to include traveling to developing countries. I can't drink, can't eat certain foods, can't travel, can't do crack and ultimately can't get pregnant. This wouldn't be so frustrating if I had some hope of actually getting a baby out of all of this. But instead, I am making these (albeit minor) sacrifices and what do I get? I get to start the whole excruciating cycle of dr. visits, medical regiments, hope and despair all over again. So thanks alot malaria. Mosquitoes always ruin everything. I am now taking suggestions for places to visit that are cheap, relaxing, serviced by American Airlines and won't potentially kill me or my never born child.

I got my period after a three days of getting my hopes up, knocking them down and getting them up again. The dr said that there is a possibility that I might have been pregnant. That made me feel better and worse. I don't want to start the cycle all over again. Not to mention it really smarts to have to shell out a copay so that the dr. can violate me with a dildo device.