Inconceivable

I had IUI #5 and 6 this weekend. One probably never gets used to a somewhat strange man putting sperm in one's personal space, but it has gotten better. There is little hope this cycle. Even K seems to have lost faith. On Saturday, he asked me to schedule a consult with him to discuss a plan B or actually plan E since we have ran through B-D over the last 4 months of this. But really let's call it Plan IVF. I am scheduled to meet with him at the end of July as he will be on vacation for most of the month, so it looks like we will be taking that month off. I could use the break, but I feel a little panicky. What do you mean I won't be able to see my dr for the entire month of July? I am turning into a fertility treatment addict. So to get my fix, I am scheduling a consult with another dr. If I am doing IVF, I want to be sure I am doing it right. As if two more IUIs with poor potential wasn't stressful enough, my mother (who of late has been trying to get me to pray to Ou...

The Dr. increased my dosage twice this week. I am starting to feel like a junkie. I have a brief estrogen high and then the most annoying headache. It's not a full-blown one where you run for the Advil, but just a gnawing little ache every afternoon. I also have bruising from all of the bloodwork. Apparently the veins in my left arm are better then my right. Visible needle tracks! The ones on my abs are my fun little secret. I go back tomorrow for more poking and prodding (Since Monday, I have been poked by a needle or a dildo device-for the ultrasound- 8 times.) I have mentioned that I obsessively google my dr? I read everything I can find on the boards and fertility websites. It is a little out of control and it makes me crazy. He doesn't have a lot of fans. While I find that troubling I think it keeps the wait times during cycling shorter, so I kind of hope he continues to displease people. I think I am going to start referring to my dr as "K" so that he can say, ...

My dr decided to break out this big guns this month. Despite my concern about multiples, we have moved on to IUI with low dose injections. I started my injections on Wednesday. The first time was nerve-wracking. I didn't think I would actually be able to stick that needle in my stomach, but after nearly injecting my dining room table with 37.5 IU's of gonal-f, I did it. Then the next night, I decided that just injecting myself in my living room wasn't exciting enough. This time I did it in a nasty airport bathroom while waiting for my very delayed flight. Then I got really crazy and did it in Kansas City! Now I know that I can officially be a heroine junkie, and I have the needle tracks on my belly to prove it. I would like to say that it's not so bad, but yeah, it is so bad. I hate it. The area around my ovaries start to feel all fluttery and spastic, and I have this on-going, low grade headache. Not to mention the needle tracks. On an alarming note, I was able to bree...

Mexico was exactly what I needed it to be - nothing more, nothing less. The sun was warm and just feels so amazing on my skin! Matt and I had a great week and spent the majority of our time lounging on a beach creating our own telenovela. We think Coral del Fuego has solid potential. I was finally able to get my mind off of the conception conflict for most of the trip. On our way to Cozumel, we learned that in ancient Mayan times, young women would make pilgrimages to Cozumel as an offering to the fertility goddess Ixchel. There is even an area where they believe the women went to worship. Unfortunately we were too busy being sold a midget at a timeshare presentation, to make it there before the museum on the site closed. But I like to think I made my pilgrimage. In keeping with my naming rights offer, if I am pregnant next month, Maya it is.