Inconceivable

I have been seeing this man for over a month now. It's been all very secretive - I've only told my closest friends. Every time we meet, he makes me undress from the waist down. At first I was a little uncomfortable - I mean we just started seeing each other and it was all so kinky. Then he told me how he wants to give me a baby and was going to put sperm inside of me. He moves fast, a little too fast for my taste, but I hear he is good, so I think I am going to keep seeing him. If it doesn't work out between us, I guess I will have to find another reproductive endocrinologist.

J. and R. came over for dinner and an injection. We had a great time, and I felt much more comforable with J/ shooting me up then if Matt had done it - at least for the first time. In total, there have been 6 vaginal sonograms, 5 clomid tablets, 4 ladies with needles, 3 men with sperm, 2 iui's and a partridge in a pear tree.

I went in for my 7th (yes 7th) pelvic sonogram and/or exam since February which means, I am averaging one every 12 days. The plan was for me to go in for monitoring today and to come back tomorrow and Sunday for IUI. When the dr. examined me, he I said I looked ready. I told him I was having cramps on my side which is a good sign that I am ready to ovulate. Thankfully Matt came with me so he could "produce" so that we can "reproduce." In case you are wondering there is nothing romantic with this process - it falls somewhere between tragedy and comedy. The rooms are dingy and sterile. There is something wrong with this clinical conception, but Matt was great, funny and reassuring. I think if I had to be there by myself it would have been March sadness, but I was glad he was able to stay during the whole thing - which took over 3 hrs by the way. The dr. said it went well. J. is coming over tonight for dinner and an injection (I have to top it all off with a hormone ch...

I had another dr.'s visit today. I was annoyed that it was on a Wednesday because that is my late day. Of course they saw me right away and the entire visit probably took 35 minutes. I have never gotten out of there in under 1:20 min, but because I have all the time in the world, they decide to be prompt. I couldn't bear the thought of showing up to work that early, and I did not want to walk around the shops again, so since it was a nice day, I decided I would walk a little. My dr.'s office is about 60 + blocks from my office so I was going to kill time and get some well needed sunshine and exercise. Who doesn't need extra vitamin D after having a strange man prod your privates? About 25 blocks later, I see this familiar women walking towards me. I know her but for a split second can't place her, but am prepared to say hi. Then I realize it is my celebrity crush - Tina Fey. She seemed so approachable, but I was too giddy to do anything besides follow her for a bloc...

Since I started trying to make a baby over a year ago, everyone has had two or three cents worth of advice - my favorite being "relax." Thanks Frankie Goes to Hollywood. I have a low stress job, minimal worries, I do yoga and exercise. If I were any more relaxed, I would be comatose. My mother has been most prolific with advice: relax, try harder, don't try so hard, it will happen when God wants it, ask God to help. So when I am not relaxingly trying hard to ask God to help me not try so hard, she recommends I say novenas to various saints and promise naming rights to the most effective one. So far, my child will not be named Gerard, Charlene, Rita, Jude, Ann or Mary. (Yes I will try anything.) Having given up on Our Lady of Wasted Months, I have turned to science. I have enlisted the assistance of a reproductive endocrinologist and am starting my clomid and IUI cycles this month. I am hoping that this will do the trick. I am not thrilled with having to resort to medical ...