Mother Kicker

The last few weeks, it seems I have popped straight out. A mere two weeks ago people were telling me that I didn't look pregnant and now people are looking at my belly on the train and avoiding eye contact lest they are guilted into giving me their seat. The baby has also started really kicking and each day she is stronger. It was so cute at first; I had everyone touching my belly, but now it is starting to feel like someone is constantly poking at me. Despite the mild annoyance, I was still supremely freaked out when she finally laid off the jabbing one Saturday. I swore I wouldn't be that type of person who flipped over ever normal thing, but I was almost crying at lunch when she hadn't kicked at all that day. She finally resume her regular programming later that day and I resumed complaining about it. All was right with the world.

In protest to my complaining she is kicking at me now.

I have also recently diagnosed myself with pregnancy on-set morning claustrophobia. I need to look that up, because it is getting to be a daily nuisance. Each morning, about a 20 minutes into my hour commute, I start to feel dizzy with a large helping of get-me-off-this-train. As the train gets more crowded, I start to feel worse. So I have started preemptively getting getting off the train before I feel like I am going to blackout. The thought of blacking out by alone in lower Manhattan does not appeal to me. My dr. said that it is probably low blood pressure combined with becoming overheated. I usually remove my coat and winter apparel when I get on the train, but it hasn't really cured it. This has also happened in church and was the same sensation I had before I lost my breakfast all over that poor Delta galley right after New Years. The common denominator seems to be stuck in one space, surrounded by people, with limited movement. There is little I can do to avoid or change my commute, so I guess I will do everything I can to not fall face first onto some stranger who was busy pretending not to notice I am pregnant and standing.

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