Mom Jeans Redux

Hoping to expand my (literally) shrinking wardrobe, I cleaned out my closet looking for those clothes that were always a little too big for me to wear. Instead I found my long lost skinny pants. I haven't touched these pants since I started stimming, sure that the bloating wouldn't take kindly to their tight hug. For a laugh, I decided to try them on and see how big I am getting. Imagine my delight when the zipper came up with only a mild protest! I could have danced around the room. I love these pants. They are black and satiny, and I feel like Audrey Hepburn in them. So imagine my distressed when I pranced into the F train and tried to sit down in them!!! The high waist cut into my protruding belly and the area around my hips that is usually snug started to feel like a boa constrictor. Part of the reason I like these pants is their design. They zip up the back with a sewn-in zipper -so my trusty rubber band wasn't going to work with this one.

I discreetly tugged at the zipper and was able to take more than a shallow breath, settled in for my long commute. Once at work, I was able to keep the zipper up and sit at my desk. Despite my paranoia, the seam never split, but for good measure, I laid off on the karate kicks.

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