Inconceivable

I have been happily absent for the last three months and I think it is time to catch up on the exciting conclusion of Inconceivable. May went by quickly with my birthday and wrapping up things at work and the general excitement of preparing for Fancy Fetus. A week and a half before my due date, I started having contractions late one Tuesday night/early Wednesday morning. They were uncomfortable but not unbearable. I waited it out and finally decided to go into work late. I put on this summery dress that really accentuated my lovely lady lumps (in the back the back and in the front) and some tall boots. I thought I looked pretty hot for being 15 months pregnant. My husband went into the city with me and when we got on the train, this guys starts singing a little loudly: "Who's that lady? Sexy Lady, with the baby. She got her high boots on." I figured it was about me when he said "with the baby", but the high boots clarified it. Matt swiftly spirited me to the nex...

We have completed our birthing class and are now allowed to have our baby. Before we "graduated", however, we attended a film night at the hospital. It was birthing for dummies. I suppose if I hadn't read a book or taken classes it might have been useful, but then there still would have been that awful woman leading the class. Her commentary between the film was so painfully annoying that I was ready to ask for an epidural to get through the rest of it. She even carried on about how ugly her granddaughter was at birth. 3 hours of my life I will never get back. I also couldn't help but notice that if you want to be in a birthing film, you have to be hefty, have a bad haircut and own a pair of overalls. I've got the bad haircut right about now, but I'll have to put on a little more weight and scare-up a heap of denim before they'll film me pushing out a baby. Despite the overalls and the scary stretch marks in these films, I get teary-eyed when they thro...

It seems that whenever I get on a train these days everyone with a seat is suddenly narcoleptic. I have never seen people fall asleep so fast! The minute I get seat, however, everyone wakes,refreshed from the 10 minute nap. Adolescent boys are the rudest. They will look right at you and not budge even though they may be getting off on the next stop. I swear a pregnant woman on crutches could be standing in front of them and they wouldn't move. Overall I have found that women between 30-50 are most likely to give up their seat. But it is a damn shame how lazy and/or oblivious people are to their fellow commuters. I know we are all tired and no one wants to stand for 35 minutes, but when I have to give up my seat for on old lady, something is wrong. Yes, my 8 1/2 month pregnant bum stood up so a lady with a cane could have a seat, and not one other person offered to trade their seat for me. The newest peril of my commute is the subway stairs. My legs have become jelly blobs that give...

I think I need to put my baby on a diet. I had my 32 week visit on Thursday, and she is measuring in on the large side - already a pound more than at my 30 week visit. Here legs are also measuring at 34 weeks. I am fine with her having long legs - she has been a called a Rockette before, but I really hope I don't have to push out a 9 lbs baby. I know the ultrasounds aren't always accurate, so I am trying not to be too nervous about this. Everything else looked good on the scan. We were able to see her eyes move around which was a little creepy but also so amazing. I checked out ok too. I have yet to have any fearsome bloating, (I hate to write it because I don't want to jinx it) and haven't gained much weight. I know I am going to get bigger and may even get puffy, but so far, I have been happy with the pregnancy from a purely vain perspective. We also started our birthing class last week, in a really overheated, crowded room (why would you cram 10 pregnant women and th...

I have had some weird physical ailments throughout the pregnancy (allergies to the F train, pregnancy induced claustrophobia , phantom whiplash) but the latest one is by far the strangest. I call it Confetti Eyes. On Friday, I was at my computer nearly the entire day and by the day's end, I had this dancing light in my left peripheral vision. At first I thought it was spots from talking to someone who was back lit by the sunshine, but then it got worse. There was an arc of a bubble-like static that went where ever I looked and then it started to look like confetti falling in my cornea. I must admit, I was a little concerned. I could see, but it was becoming uncomfortable to look at things or to focus. The thought of commuting home with a station sign-off pattern in my field of vision was making me almost as jumpy as my eye. It finally resolved itself after I sat in a dark room with my eyes closed for a few minutes despite the fact that with my eyes closed, I could still see th...

Several weeks ago, I had my 20 week anatomy scan. As I was walking to the hospital, I had a flashback of going there last memorial day weekend for my laparoscopy. This coming memorial day weekend, I plan to be back at that hospital for my baby's birth. While the lap did nothing to further my ability to conceive, it seemed like a necessary step. As I got closer to the hospital, I started going through all of the other steps that got me here, on my way to literally peak inside my baby's heart. Whereas memorial day didn't come through, labor day did. I thought of that weekend and those two very long walks to my other hospital for my retrieval and transfer. They were both beautiful days full of promise. M turned to me at one point on our way and said, "I know I would be happy if it was just you and me." It was a wonderfully sweet thing to say, and we are very happy just the two of us, but I still wanted to cry a miserable tear or two because I couldn't say I woul...

In a last ditch attempt to get in some world traveling before we become teethered to a 7 (hopefully) pound meatloaf, M and I are on our way to somewhat sunny Bermuda. With the reasonably priced airfare, short and direct flight, off-season hotel rates and temperature that is at least above freezing, it seemed perfect. Beyond that, we have no plans or ideas of what we want to do when we get there. It's a long weekend, so we jumped on it last week. With the added bonus of it being Valentine's Day while we are there, so I am sure we will squeeze in something somewhat romatic. I am thinking a sunset or sunrise - maybe both; it may get crazy.

The last few weeks, it seems I have popped straight out. A mere two weeks ago people were telling me that I didn't look pregnant and now people are looking at my belly on the train and avoiding eye contact lest they are guilted into giving me their seat. The baby has also started really kicking and each day she is stronger. It was so cute at first; I had everyone touching my belly, but now it is starting to feel like someone is constantly poking at me. Despite the mild annoyance, I was still supremely freaked out when she finally laid off the jabbing one Saturday. I swore I wouldn't be that type of person who flipped over ever normal thing, but I was almost crying at lunch when she hadn't kicked at all that day. She finally resume her regular programming later that day and I resumed complaining about it. All was right with the world. In protest to my complaining she is kicking at me now. I have also recently diagnosed myself with pregnancy on-set morning claustrophobia. I n...

I have been offline for while with the multi-city Christmas extravaganza and haven't been updating, but there were a very cherished holidays moments that deserve to be recorded for posterity. 1. Being dismissively told at LGA that we didn't have seat assignments and that they might be able to get us out "sometime this week." 2. The blizzard that kept us huddled at my in-laws for what seemed like 2 weeks. 3. The Delta crew forgetting to de -ice our plane which caused us to miss our connection by 10 minutes, but then resulted in first class tickets for the next leg of the trip. 4. Birthday cake disasters and finally 5. Puking on the return flight. In the back galley of the plane ...everywhere. Notice how the worst ones involved air travel. That last one really endeared me to the flight attendants who, by the way, COULD NOT FIND A BARF BAG for me. I gave them ample warning and desperately tried to wait until the bathrooms were unoccupied. I think they thought I was st...

When we last left off, I was sitting on some important news, but because I know there is at least one person out there who still reads this, I kept it to myself until I could tell her in person. So now that she knows, here is the big scoop. At my dr's appt at my 17 week check up, I talked my dr into telling me the gender despite the fact that my husband couldn't be there and my dr's insistence that people from Brooklyn always want to be surprised. He asked me if I had a preference to which I of course replied: "I just want a healthy baby", and then told me it was a girl. I then squealed: "well I really wanted a girl." He advised me not to decorate the nursery until my 20 week anatomy scan, but he was pretty certain it was a girl. Fast forward 4 weeks later for the full anatomy scan (which was creepy awesome by the way), and I was slightly nervous that the ultrasound would reveal a developmental problem, but I was really nervous that they would be lik...